Life is like the Ropes Course

It has been several years since I have done the ropes course at our favorite family reunion spot, Aspen Grove. I used excuses of pregnancy, just given birth, or too out of shape. But let's face it, I was scared. I don't like doing certain things. I like to whine and have excuses for things that are too hard.
This year I really wanted to do it. I had no good excuse not to and I realized that there are harder things in life than the ropes course.
I hesitate showing the "behind" shots but it's proof. First you have to climb the log. (The foot-holes are small and the log is swinging a little bit and it's slippery. Oops sorry. There I go whining again.)




When I got to the wall climbing part, I realized that I would have to make a leap of faith because the foot-holes were a little too far apart to just climb up. This is where I became very grateful for "that guy." You know the one standing at the bottom holding the ropes. I knew he was not going to let me fall. When I made the leap, he pulled tight. I could feel him helping me just enough that I could do it.

I knew I could do it.

I realized then that it was like this life journey that we are on. Life is hard. There are many times when we don't think we can make it to the next step but God is there pulling tight on the ropes. He lets us work hard enough that it is still our life but he lifts us up when it's too hard to go on. I know this is true. I know He will never let us fall.

With God's help, I can do hard things.

A little bit of Hope

This is where I caught #3. She's looking at the book Camille made for us.

#3 is the child I worry about most. She doesn't talk about Joy very often. She gets upset whenever I am crying or even look like I am about to cry. So it was a relief to see her looking at the book and crying. I took her in my arms and I said, "What do you miss about Joy?" We looked at the book together and we cried and laughed.

Welcome to The Club

A few months ago, I was at a Stake R. S. Women's Conference. It was one of those days when the tears flow. The messages were uplifting and I was really glad I was there. I was introduced to a few people who I didn't know, but they had heard about me. "Here's the person I was telling you about that lost her daughter." I was getting a little tired of being the one whose daughter died.
I went into my last class and the teacher, standing at the door, said, "Hi. What's your name?" After I said my name she said, "Oh, now, how do I know you?" I was a little exasperated and I blurted out, "My daughter died in January. That's how everybody knows me."
Her eyes immediately filled with tears and she put her arms around me and she said, "Welcome to the club. It's been 24 years since my little girl died." (Turns out she didn't know that and knows me because of another thing.)

The club.
It's sort of an elite group. The membership price is far more than anyone wants to pay. More than you think you can bear except somehow you pay it. The blessings and miracles are plentiful. The sorrow and tears overflowing.

I've met a few other people in the club. I find comfort in these sisters of mine. We share a bond like no other.
Lucy's mom wrote "I think I'm starting to understand better what the scriptures mean when they say "being alive in Christ". I want to be alive in Christ...and in Lucy. With their presence we can not only feel "normal" again, but like we're truly living. Alive. Loving. Serving. Joyous. Whole."
Molly reminds me that I am so very lucky to have four other kids to focus on and continue loving. She shared a quote from Neal A. Maxwell. "A cavity dug from sorrow becomes a receptacle for joy." (Did you know that I LOVE quotes that have joy in them?)
Camille's mom taught me to, "Force yourself to do something Physical (workout), Spiritual (pray, ponder and study scriptures), Mental (write or read some or exercise your brain), and Social (serve others or just get out and be with people) EVERYDAY. It is what the Savior did and if you do it everyday it will make you happier. It is the only way I know to claw out of the pit of sorrow."
Does Wii Fit count? (I'm getting pretty good at the yoga poses.:)

I can hardly believe that we just passed the six month mark. And as hard as it is to be in the club, it is wonderful to have a support group of loving people who know how it is.

One final thought from Elder Maxwell, "Meanwhile, there are no separate paths back to that heavenly home. Just one straight and narrow way, at the end of which, though we arrive trailing tears, we shall at once be “drenched in joy.”

I am counting on that!

Family Pictures minus one

It was one of those days that I'm surprised I made it through. Well, sort of made it through. I could not stop crying and I was really trying to fake it. We did back-to-back reunions this year and at both of them we did family pictures.
I wanted to stop the show. "Wait. One of mine is missing."
Here are all my parents grandkids. Except for Joy.
I still see Joy in their faces. I am so glad that they can smile and laugh and continue to live. #1 is wearing her Joy necklace. It seems that I'm not the only one that was missing her this day.

The photographer grouped us into individual families and seated us first and then said, "Is this all of your children?" Um, Nope. Fresh tears. I'm totally wiping my nose. (The professional pictures turned out much better. I'm just posting random shots from my camera.)

The extended Fam. 105 people. Each generation in a different color.

Then we did it again with our other side.

I can totally see Joy with her angel wings sitting in the tree with them.

I'm so grateful for eternal families. Even though she's missing in the picture, she is in our family forever.

Finding Joy

A sweet friend sent me a card that included this message from a Mormon Tabernacle Choir Broadcast in February:



Finding Joy
Delivered By: Lloyd D. Newell
One of the most popular courses taught at Harvard University is a class called “Positive Psychology.” In essence, the professor teaches how to find joy in living. One semester more than 800 students enrolled. What does it say about our society that we must teach “finding joy” at the highest levels of academia?

Many myths and misconceptions swirl about how and where to find joy. For so many, it is elusive. Some think that joy comes from money or material possessions, so they conclude that adding more of them will surely bring increased joy. Or we may think we can only have joy if our relationships are always stable and our careers are always successful.

But real joy does not depend on our social status or our bank account, and it can even be found in times of turmoil and disappointment. Joy springs from our attitude and outlook. It comes from simple gestures, like making time for family members or friends, clearing up a misunderstanding, expressing gratitude for the efforts of others, celebrating their successes, or taking time to listen to their worries.

This kind of joy is available not only during times of peace, when all is going well, but also when we face challenges, heartache, or pain. In fact, that’s when joy does its greatest service—it brings balance and peace to the harshness and stresses of everyday living. It lifts our sights and settles our souls.

Ask yourself where you find joy, and then diligently look for it there. If, at the end of the day, we remember and prize each moment of real joy, we will learn for ourselves the truth of what the Psalmist promised: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”