We Have Not Forgotten

These words have been the cause of my tears today. I received a card in the mail from the funeral home. It's actually a very generic, plain card. But they are in the business of knowing just what to say. Four words. We have not forgotten.
I think this must be the fear of every person who has lost someone. I want people to remember her. As time goes on, it will be harder to remember the details of her life. She wasn't here long. What if I forget? I am already accustomed to this new way of living without her. My new normal.
Thank you to everyone who has remembered us. We have received many calls, emails, cards, packages, flowers, balloons.



My sweet nephews sent me this candy bar poster. I love it and I'm not sharing any candy.



My kids attacked this before I could even get a picture.

The flowers are gorgeous and we love Dora balloons.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

One Year Later

Sunday, January 20, 2008: The day my life changed forever. I'll never forget that phone call.
It's hard to believe that it's been a year. I see how much my kids have grown and I can't help but wonder. What would she be like? I wonder what she's been doing. What mission is she on? What work was so important that she had to hurry back?

The kids were out of school so we had a day filled with family activities. First, we went bowling.

We cheered for each other and were the loudest in the whole place..

This was so cute. Copying his bowling technique.
I can officially claim the title as best bowler in the family.
After we went out to lunch, we went to the cemetery. We sang Joy her favorite songs and it was a beautiful, peaceful day.In the evening, My dear bother and his wife came and brought dinner. We played games and just hung out as a family. We lined the driveway and walkway with luminaries and they were beautiful.
We will never forget you Joy, our sweet daughter.

Houseplants

I'm sort of mad at my plants. I'm angry that they have lived for a whole year. I didn't even own a plant before January of last year. Well, except for the plant that I received as a wedding gift. To insure it's survival, my mom took it hostage one day shortly thereafter. Under her care, it has grown into a large tree. So here I am, one year later, with a house full of plants. To be fair, they too, have survived mostly because my mom waters them every time she visits. I guess I'm just annoyed that my plants live while my Joy doesn't. The picture above is one of my plants after a lack of water. This is how I feel some days. Just a little down. One of the things I love about this plant is that with a little water, it bounces right back. I'm a lot like this plant. Some days are harder than others but I bounce back.

Christmas with the Ones I Love

These are the things I loved about Christmas.

Sleeping over at my parents house.
All the traditions: Christmas Eve Dinner and Program and the Christmas Morning cinnamon rolls with Mom's eggs.
I loved feeling their love, being snowed in and letting my mom wait on me.

I loved that my kids were excited about toothbrushes, gum and other miscellaneous little things in their stockings.

I was probably more excited about their bikes then they were, especially because there was one for me out there.

I loved that even though there was not a princess bike in the garage on Christmas Morning, I had peace in my heart.

Wishing you a Pink Christmas

Only 17 of you were right.
I admit I am surprised, too.
The girls came home from a day of skiing to find this.


Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve Cemetary Caroling

We wanted to go caroling to Joy so we all decorated a white lunch sack and made luminaries. We lit them and sang. It was freezing cold but we sang our hearts out knowing she was listening.




Merry Christmas little Joy.
We love you.

My First Christmas With Jesus

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the
Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside
your heart.But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all, love
is a gift more precious than pure gold.It was always most
important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep
each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Christmas Past

This time last year, we were eagerly awaiting and anticipating Christmas. I was so excited to surprise my kids with their trip to see Wicked. We caroled to our friends. We sang in the Messiah and our ward choir. We went to parties and movies. We went skiing and sledding. As my husband puts it, we were happily oblivious to the events soon to come. We were in our little perfect world.

It feels weird this year. The same but different. We are doing the usual things. We are even enjoying them most of the time. Our hearts are missing our little Joy. Our capacity to love others has grown immensely and I think this year we really understand and are grateful for the birth of the Christ child who made it possible for us all to return to live with our Heavenly Parents.