This was not my plan.
The plan was to always, always have a baby so the day would never come that I would be home alone.
Now don't get me wrong. I will enjoy myself during my 3 1/2 hours child-free daily. But today I'm mourning the loss of my sweet little boy who is just growing up way too fast.
When I dropped him off, he was in hysterics. He was gripping me so tight and crying and saying, "Please don't leave me here mommy." My heart was breaking but I kept telling myself to keep it together until he went inside. I thought it would only be worse if I was crying too.
At this point I can no longer hold it in. Tears were streaming. Thank heavens for sunglasses.
I'm sure there were other moms there that thought I was crazy. There they were holding their babies and toddlers in their arms and thinking, "Geez, It's only kindergarten."
Not to me.
It's knowing my youngest child on earth is growing up.
It's missing a daughter that should be home with me.
It's humbly knowing that I'm not in charge of The Plan.
It's being home alone before you're ready.
Known
5 months ago
Aw Tami, you had me crying on this post. I can't believe that Eli is already in school!! I don't think Brenna cried, but she might have thrown one of her famous fits or two.
ReplyDeleteWe love you guys,
love Rob
What a cute kindergartener! He will love it. Thinking about you and sending lots of hugs :)
ReplyDeleteoh...how cute! and sad at the same time...that is rough...and especially since he had such a hard time going to school. hopefully it gets better the farther into the week you go!
ReplyDeleteWhat a darling, sweet little boy you have, Tami.
ReplyDeleteAs for the being home alone part, I wish I had the right words of comfort, but I don't. I just pray that someday it will get a little easier for you.
big hugs to Eli and you! He is so cute. I hope his first day turned out good. Hope your first day did too. We miss you guys.
ReplyDeleteOh oh oh. This had me in tears. How did his first day go, once he got in there?
ReplyDeleteI wish Joy was home with you, too. She probably is, probably is with you for much of your day. But I wish she was right there with you.
Love you guys.
Ok, those pictures of Eli trying to be brave and your commentary had me very teary-eyed. Thanks for sharing the experience, even though it was hard. Lots and lots of hugs to you both.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry Tami. I hope that your days will be brighter. Your little guy is so cute. I have a boy the same age that just started too. And no your not crazy, I saw the Mom's with the tears streaming too. In my case, my son was practically running away saying later Mom! I am still praying for you and your family. Joy was so cute, I coud tell she was so fun from her pictures. Have a good day-jenna
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Tami,
ReplyDeleteYou go ahead and cry as much as you want! I think you've earned that (to say the least)! He is the cutest Kindergartner ever though (if I do say so myself), in that little polo shirt and jeans he looks so grown up! I love you Tam, you're the best sister ever! We'll have to do lots of lunch dates!
Love,
Val
It was great because when we asked Eli why he didn't want to go to school it was because 'he didn't want to work'. His teacher was nice, he even knew some kids but he just plain didn't want to have do something except watch t.v. and play nintendo.
ReplyDeletefaith
Tami, I don't know how you do it. To bear what you do with such grace, humility and faith. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteTami, tears are flowing for you. I don't have the right words to tell you how amazing and strong I think you are. Thank you for sharing your Joy and your sorrows! I love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sweet mother. Eli's cute little face- so sad and scared- I hope he is liking Kindergarten more now.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could hang out too! I don't like not being in-charge either. Eli is such a cutie!
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