Which one is your favorite?

Mike and I went away for a much needed break from real life. We met this really chatty lady that worked in the bed and breakfast we stayed at. She asked us if there was a reason we came.

"Just a weekend away from the kids."
"How many kids?"
"5"
"Wow. How are you so tiny? You should be enormous." (Totally loving her at the moment.)
"How old are they?"
11, 10, 7, 4 and 2
Which one's your favorite?

I probably should have said, "my boy" and graciously excused myself but instead I found myself telling a stranger all about Joy. So she starts in on this story about how she and her friend had baby boys close together.

When her boy was 6 months old, her friend's boy died. She goes on to tell me that she doesn't talk to her friend anymore. She feels awkward and sad and a little guilty that she still has her son. He just turned 1 and she thinks it would be too hard for her friend to see what she is missing. She just doesn't know what to say around her friend so she avoids her. I told her that she should call her friend and let her friend decide if it's too hard. I suggested emailing her because you can say you are thinking of her without being put on the spot about what to say. I told her that I find great comfort in seeing the little girls that are my daughter's age. Yes it's sad and I miss her but I also love seeing the moments that I'm missing.

I hadn't really thought about how my friends were feeling or if I am uncomfortable to be around. This conversation made me so grateful for my friends. They have been wonderful. The friend that lets me cry in her kitchen, feeds me baked goods, and lets me stare longingly at her daughter. The friends that email sweet thoughts, call to check in, and are at my beck and call for favors. The friends that trim roses, take me to lunch, and listen to me complain about life while we walk. I can safely say that I don't think I would have made it without you.